Whats found in HIST/AIS Notebook...

_
Dirty blue genes
Dirty stained yellow shirt
Old makeshift fir hat
Spray painted shoes.

This is what I see the world seeing. They don't see love in my eyes.

They don't see the past that has been so destructive.

They do not see the philosophical, mental, and emotional battles that wear on my endurance.

They do not see the passion that fills me. The pain that used to define me.
_________

She lies empty.
Nothing to give.
Everything taken.
She is twelve.
If there are memories
feeling is absent.
To survive is intrinsic,
not amiable.

I write these words for her epitaph, even while taking part in her murder.
_________

DO YOU NOT SEE!!! THE WORLD WE LOVE TO ENVISION IS MURDEROUS.

DO YOU NOT SEE THAT OUR SOCIETY IS BUILT ON SHIT?

DO YOU NOT SEE THAT EVERYTHING WE USE, NECESSARY OR NOT, IS FOSTERED BY THE EXPLOITATION OF OTHERS?
_________

I cannot write for freedom while enslaving myself to ideals of no importance.

Can a society of our grandeur break a world of slavery? Releasing souls, like the Anasazi breaking burial pots?
_________

Lord, Father, I am absurd. I am not of consequence. I am nothing, my enemies overshadow me. Father I cry out with deep necessity and fearful certainty. I need you Lord. I must be yours. I am yours. I am great. I am a writer of truth. I am a poet of grave emotion. I am understood only and always with your grace and your peace.